Description
Ridicule is usually mockery, derision and taunting with cruelty and hate, in which case the sufferer wants to escape it and live a life free from ridicule.
Ridicule can also be done in a friendly, teasing ‘fun’ way, However, there is a ‘line in the sand’ which must not be crossed. That line is different for different people.
The word ridicule comes from the Latin, ridere (meaning to laugh) and ridiculus (meaning laughable). The Cambridge Dictionary defines it as “foolish or unreasonable and deserving to be laughed at”.
Years ago, a Chinese friend of mine had purchased a new car which had a Satnav fitted. It was the latest thing at that time. Keen to show off his new car and the device, he offered to take me for a ride across town to visit a mutual friend.
He programmed the device in his carport, which was accessed from a laneway at the back of his house. The AI voice directed him to ‘turn left’ and then it directed him to ‘turn left’ again. Then it said, “You have arrived at your destination’, outside his own front door. I laughed. He did not see the humor in the moment, and he felt ridiculed by me.
I had apparently crossed the line in the sand for him. It could have been a cultural thing. It could have been because I was laughing at his programming error. I am not sure. However, like the British we Australians can ‘take the piss’ as they say and laugh at ourselves without taking it too personally. Yes, it is a cultural thing.
Some people are more sensitive to criticism and being judged by others. Still, other don’t care what other people think. It could be cultural, or it could be more about past life experiences.
I was sensitive and had a low self-esteem during my childhood. In my school days I was painfully shy, insecure and quiet. At age 16 I moved interstate and changed schools. I made the decision to ‘reinvent’ myself at my new school. I had realised I could not be liked by everyone. I could not win the approval of everyone, no matter what I did or did not do or say.
I could not make everyone happy all the time, so I decided to make myself happy and to hell with people who would never approve of me anyway.
I realised I am not responsible for how they feel – they are. But I am responsible for what I think and how I feel, so I would not let them affect me.
Yes. I was teased for being the new kid at high school. Eventually they forgot thinking I had been there all along. I was accepted.
There is some evidence ridicule may have been used in native cultures as a way to prevent more successful individuals becoming too arrogant, just to stop ‘it’ going to their head.
Of course, it is possible that some individuals who have a disregard for social norms, or who are antisocial may be in the habit of ridiculing people.
I know someone whose parents immigrated from Eastern Europe as refugees following WW2. Although he had 2 brothers, his own son was the only male grandchild of his Eastern European parents, all the others were girls. Perhaps because he was the only male who could pass on the family name (although now married he has had no children of his own) he was spoilt and treated as a ‘little prince’ within the family. He could do no wrong. His parents had a messy divorce, and they over compensated. Unfortunately, the boy developed a ‘chip on his shoulder’, ‘toxic masculinity’ (dominating manner with inappropriate physical and mental aggression) which followed him into adulthood. People who know him have since told me he has an unpleasant personality and causes trouble everywhere he goes. Ridicule is one of his favorite weapons.
He is the product of his parents and grandparents. They approved of his behavior, perhaps in part because that is how you best survived in Eastern Europe during the war? It is inappropriate even antisocial in this part of the world today.
If you are inclined to use ridicule and shaming on other people, then perhaps you need to do this process daily to develop your sense of empathy. It only takes a minute.
- Close your eyes.
- Imagine you can float up and out of your body.
- Float into the body of the person you have been ridiculing and shaming, look through their eyes look back at you.
- What are they feeling as you say and do those things?
- Now, float back into your body and take that new understanding about how they feel with you.
- How would you feel if other people said and did the same things to you?
When ‘weaker’ (sensitive) people are ridiculed by apparently ‘stronger’ (more robust) people it becomes a form of bullying.
There is an irrational fear or pathological fear of ridicule called gelotophobia. Sufferers of this social phobia are particularly sensitive to ridicule.
Australian linguistics professor Michael Haugh explains the features of ridicule and mockery consist of the following:
- Laughter, inviting others to also laugh.
- Exaggeration, animation or phonetic pitch, and “sing-song” vocal pitch to indicate irony.
- Exaggerated facial cues, such as smiling, winking, covering the face, or clapping.
- Exaggeration, obviously above or below what is reasonable.
In my late teens and early 20’s I had a friend who pronounced some words incorrectly and had a slight lisp. Others in our circle privately acknowledged it, but like me chose to ignore it. One day he ridiculed another in our circle for what HE called their ‘speech impediment’. At that moment we all stepped to that friend’s defense and pointed out that HE was the Indvidual who actually had a speech impediment and gave him examples. HE was shocked, incredibly, HE had never noticed his own mispronunciations or lisp.
On some level of consciousness, perhaps suppressed, HE must have known HE had his own ‘speech impediment’. Perhaps by ridiculing another HE hoped to defect attention away from himself? This is often the tactic of bullies. In this case it was a spectacular backfire. That may be why HE was so surprised?
I might add that when we pointed out his own ‘speech impediment’ to him, we did so with respect. We accepted him, and acknowledged his strengths of character, rather than an unimportant lisp.
Synonyms of the word ridicule include; mockery and derision or taunting plus laughter and scorn or scoffing. It can be contempt and jeering or sneering or sneers and jibes or jibing. Including joking and teasing and taunts or taunting. Such as ragging and chaffing or twitting and raillery. Also sarcasm and satire or lampooning. Also burlesque and caricature and parody or sport. Perhaps caricature or contempt and disdain or jeer and laughter. Including mockery and sarcasm or satire and badinage or banter or buffoonery. Such as burlesque or chaff and a comeback or dig with disparagement. Also farce and foolery such as gibe or irony and jab or leer. It could be needling and persiflage or a put-on and raillery or rally. Some say razz as they rib or roast such as slam and sneer with a swipe and travesty or mordancy and a parting shot or putdown and sardonicism
Antonyms of the word ridicule include; admiration and approval or compliment with flattery, and love and praise with respect and commendation.
A fear of being ridiculed can lead a person to become more cautious so as to limit feeling shame. This can lead to social phobias which only make the fear worse.
I have visited social phobia clients in their own homes and through online Apps because my clients cannot leave their own homes, such is the level of their social phobia. They have become socially paralyzed by fear.
Gelotophobia sufferers have usually undergone repeated ridicule during childhood and adolescence. As a result, they have developed an irrational fear of looking ridiculous or feeling teased and ostracised. On one level the sufferer knows the fear is invalid, yet on another level they cannot escape the belief it is justified and true.
Keep your words positive because your words become your behavior.
Keep your behavior positive because your behavior become your habits.
Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values.
Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny.
Mahatma Gandi
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